Chasing Perfection: Part I
As I was writing this blog, I realized that I had a lot to say on this topic, so I decided to split it up into two parts. The second part will be out on Thursday.
Recently, I watched the Netflix docuseries Untold: Swamp Kings which further dives into the success of the University of Florida football team had in the early 2000s. Urban Meyer was the head coach from 2005-2010 and won two national championships during those years. (Side note: Urban Meyer was also the head coach for the BGSU football team from 2001-2002 and is originally from Ohio). In the docuseries, Urban Meyer talks about how each game they won after winning their first national championship was never enough. He would criticize his team for not winning by more points on the games they won, which was most if not all of them in a single season. He admitted throughout his interviews with Netflix that he was chasing perfection, which in turn made his physical and mental health decline.
As I was watching this, I saw a reflection of myself. I am one to chase perfection. I know and understand that it is an unrealistic expectation to have, but subconsciously I have times where I chase it. Over the years, as I have matured, I have become better about being aware of it, but I still have my days where I completely break down because I am chasing this unrealistic expectation.
I can give you many examples of times where I chased perfection throughout my golf career over the past 10 years. The spring season is the most recent example of this. I played well in the fall semester, finishing with a 73.1 scoring average. 4 out of the 5 tournaments I played in I finished in the top 10, one being a win and another a runner-up finish. My worst score was a 78, and my worst score over three rounds was +8. This was the most consistent stretch of golf I have ever played.
This was not the storyline in the spring. I played well in the first tournament adding another top 10 finish to my resume, but at the next tournament, I posted my first score in the 80s as a Falcon. This sent me on a spiral as I suddenly played hesitantly with everything I did on the course. I became afraid to “mess up” again. I was chasing a perfect season, which in my eyes was what I had in the Fall. I wanted to play as well as I did in the Fall, but was afraid what could happen if I didn’t live up to those expectations I set for myself. Perfection wasn’t just a goal for me, it was an expectation all throughout the spring semester. It was one I placed on myself.
In the picture above, I was walking with Coach on the 9th hole at Rio Verde Country Club - Quail Run after I got off to a bumpy start to my round. She walked the entire hole with me telling me I was being too hard on myself and that I am not really giving myself a chance to play well. Hole 9 was a par 5, and after she told me this, I hit an 8 iron basically on the green with about 12 feet uphill for eagle.
Playing hesitantly did not help with my confidence, nor is it a fun way to play. Reflecting back on the spring season, I played fairly well, but I could never put consistent shots together. I would have a few pars in a row, then one shot didn’t go my way, I make bogey on the hole, and panic mode set in. It was almost as if I was counting my mistakes and set a limit for myself. Golf is a hard enough game as it is, but setting a limit for the number of mistakes I am allowed to make each round doesn’t make golf any easier.
